Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
