Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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