i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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