did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
