I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
