Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So many bounce houses so little time
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
