talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
