Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
