Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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