Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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