I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
