He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
