I'm so fucking centered right now
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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