A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
vagina is talking i cant
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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