after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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