Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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