Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
