I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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