And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize