I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
