He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
