she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
