I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
