It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My liver just had a heart attack.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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