dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
