Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
