I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
