I want to make a zoo with you.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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