Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
