Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We have started to decorate penises.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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