i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
did i walk over a car last night?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
