i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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