He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
