you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
