Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
