Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
