You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
