it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize