I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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