just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
