I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
