just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
