I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
