I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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