Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
