I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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