I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
