...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
