Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
