Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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