well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
