The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My bed smells like the plague
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
