the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize