She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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