Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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