imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize