she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
