I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
