I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize