yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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