Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
